My Gypsy Fortuneteller
by paranoia'SPLASH
Summary: ONESHOT. Jasper and Alice meet at a tattoo parlour in Brooklyn, New York.


"Are you sure you want to do this..." the man's voice trailed off as he realized he didn't know my last name or status. I smiled, relishing in letting him squirm for a moment before putting him out of his misery.

"Cullen," I supplied. "And it's Miss." He nodded his head sideways. I studied the action curiously. In all my years as a medical doctor, I had never really understood why people nodded like that. I really needed to learn psychology. It would certainly be helpful, especially after I got this tattoo. I would need a special knowledge of people after they found out the woman operating on you had a tattoo.

"Miss Cullen," he repeated. "What I was saying is, are you sure you want this? This is a rather unique tattoo. Are you sure you wouldn't want something more generic, like a butterfly, or a fairy even?"

I bristled at his comment. "Excuse me-" I looked at his grimy tag, my nose wrinkling in disgust. "-Dave, but do I look unsure about this? Is any part of my demeanour uncertain?" He slowly shook his head. "Well then, I suggest you do what I pay you for and get the tat done already."

He hesitated before nodding quickly and rushing off to find the appropriate tools. I only hoped they were sterile. If I got an infection, God only knew what I would do to the guy. The only reason I came here was because Rosalie had recommended this place. Emmett and Edward had recoiled at the idea of their baby sister getting a tattoo, but the only reaction _that _received was stony stares and icy silences from Rosalie and Bella until they took back their words. I sighed at the memory. Sometimes I really loved having my best friends as my roommates.

I had always felt like a fifth wheel. Rosalie Lillian Hale and Emmett McCarty Cullen-my biological older brother, much to my dismay-were the strangest match ever, were outrageously dramatic in expressions of their love and though they always assured me I was more than welcome, I had a fear of walking into one of their 'expressions of love'. Edward Cullen, my other, more refined brother, and Bella Swan were more subtle with their professions of love, but their connection was so spiritual I felt like crying each time I walked into the room. Either way I felt uncomfortable hanging out with them as a group. It was pitiful.

Once I had told Rose and Bella about my discomfort, and like true friends, they laughed it off. Bitches. They even had the audacity to tell me I was such a hyper ball of energy, I didn't need a man to tie me down. And Rose had even gone so far as to add that I would wear out a man five minutes into the relationship. My response to that was to storm out of the restaurant we were having a lunch date at.

I had apologized later, telling them that I had overreacted. I knew, though, that my wanting a man went beyond needing company, or sex for that matter. It was more of wanting to have someone to make me French toast in the morning, like Edward and Bella, or someone to buy me random flowers at the oddest times, like Emmett and Rosalie. I wanted someone to love me. Was that so hard?

"Miss Cullen, could you please remove your shirt?" Dave requested politely. I pursed my lips. Rosalie had warned me about this, but I hadn't really taken her seriously. I unbuttoned my blouse and rolled up the tank top underneath to below my breasts. If I caught this perv ogling me so much as _one _time, I was calling the Cullen Squad on him-translation, Emmett and Edward with news that a man was staring at their baby sister's breasts. They had done it once to a disgusting twenty-year-old, they could do it again.

Thankfully, he didn't stop once to give me that creepy one-over. Instead he leaned over me on a ridiculously tiny makeshift bed thing and started dabbing alcohol with a surprising professionalism. I had to give it to him; he knew what he was doing.

I sighed mentally so that Dave wouldn't hear me and stop the procedure. I wasn't scared silly of needles the way Bella was, and although tattooing was more of drawing than poking, I still didn't need to see the guy jabbing strange stuff into my body. Rose told me it was going to hurt as hell, but whatever. All good things came with a price.

I looked at Dave, contemplating his rugged looks as I tried to ignore the first sting of pain. It wasn't anything much, just a sharp sting that increased in intensity. I had felt worse before. I pushed the thoughts of ink and needles out of my mind and focused on Dave. He was pretty good-looking, if you liked the bulgy, too-much-muscle kind of guy. He looked a bit like Emmett, but Emmett had the childish face to pull off the look. Dave just looked freakish. Still, he was kinda hot. He had darkish blonde hair and dark, dark brown eyes, and though he wasn't really my type, he seemed okay. I inhaled to chat him up when I caught sight of the wedding ring dangling around his neck. Shoot. Oh well. It was probably for the better anyway. I couldn't imagine myself with this guy.

The door swung open then, letting the chilly air of Brooklyn swirl in and around the shop. I suddenly realized I was completely exposed to visitors. Jeez, how embarrassing. But then again, being able to ogle at tattoos was probably the intention. I peered towards the door to see who the visitor was.

"Hey, Dave, I need those papers you were supposed to sign," a velvety voice said, floating towards me. I blinked and looked up...

...directly into the eyes of a _God._

Oh, sweet mama. He was hot. I stared at the lush mop of honey blonde hair and his pale skin and piercing blue eyes. He looked familiar somehow, but I couldn't have seen him before. I would definitely have remembered this fine specimen of a man. He looked at me for a moment before curving his-_holy crap_-incredibly kissable lips into a smile.

"Sure, man. Just wait a moment, all right?" Dave said, distracted by his masterpiece. He plunged whatever it was he was holding in the direction of my flesh again and I winced as the slight pain caught me by surprise. Then he stuck the needles into a boiling pot and sauntered into the office.

The moment he was gone the god grinned cheekily at me. "I see you've succumbed to the evil of Dave," he teased. "What's a pretty lady like you doing in this slum?"

I smiled. "I was recommended. All I can say is, the turnout had better be good. Like you said, I'm really slumming here," I said, winking. _Please, please do not be offended. I do get verbal diarrhoea sometimes, you know._

Mercifully he laughed. "You're a refreshing girl," he noted, sticking out his hand. I grabbed it and shook it awkwardly from my position on the table, revelling in the smoothness of his hand while noting his slight Texan twang. _Can he get any better?_

"Jasper Hale," he said, and a cog finally clicked into place in my brain as a distinctive crash came from the office. _Finally, a name. _

"Rosalie's brother?" I asked, surprised. No wonder they looked so similar. Blonde hair, blue eyes, great posture, even better figure...he blinked at me, equally startled.

"Fraternal twin, actually," he corrected. "How do you know Rosie?"

"She's my brother's girlfriend," I answered before grinning suddenly. "Why do _you _get to call her Rosie?" I complained. "Every time we call her that, she throws something at us!"

Jasper shrugged. "Occupational hazard of being her twin. She did chuck a handful of marbles at me once, though. Does that count?" I shook my head. "Oh, well. So _you're _the infamous Alice Cullen?" he added with a grin. I groaned loudly, my hands flying up to bury my face. Good grief, I had been hanging around with Bella too much.

"What has she been saying about me?" I asked, knowing all too well the horror stories Rosalie could spread about me. "Please tell me she did not tell you about the Emmett Titanic Incident of January '09."

"No, actually. She only told me about-her words, not mine-'the shopping maniac that is Alice Marie Brandon Cullen'." Jasper sniggered suddenly. "A shopaholic, huh? I would never have pegged you for that. You know, seeing you're not wearing any designer..."

I glared at him, certain now he was teasing me. I was wearing Gucci, Prada and Juicy Couture all in one. Either he was fashion impaired or he was taking a snipe at me. I was inclined to believe the latter. Rosalie would never let a brother of hers not know designer. "I'll have you know shopping is an art, not a disorder."

Jasper chuckled. "Really? Well, judging by some of the arguments you've apparently had with Rosalie, I'd say it's leaning more towards the latter." I gasped at him in mock horror, but before I could retort, Dave emerged from the office, his hair rumpled and his face stressed. He was clutching a sheet of documents.

"Here you go, Jasper. Make sure your boss doesn't come after me screaming profanities again for paying five minutes late," Dave said, thrusting the documents at Jasper. I felt a twinge of confusion before my heart sank. He was leaving already?

Jasper looked at Dave, then at me. "Actually, Dave, I think I'll stick around a bit longer," he said, taking the documents, his voice cool. "I'll explain to the bosses." I felt a shiver slither down my spine and doubted I wanted to hear the story behind that. A beat passed, and Dave nodded curtly before plucking the tools out and continuing his work.

"So, Alice, small world, isn't it?" Jasper remarked, sidling over to one of the cleaner chairs and plopping himself down on it. I chuckled at his action. Somehow the movement seemed so out of tune with his appearance.

"I suppose. This wasn't exactly how I imagined meeting the Hales. Are you sure your parents aren't going to waltz in too? I can call Rose and make it a family reunion," I teased, smiling despite the pretty disconcerting sight of Dave breathing on me, focused on my stomach.

Jasper pretended to consider my offer. "Nah. I think my parents would have a heart attack."

I laughed out loud. "So Jasper, what's your middle name?"

Jasper considered me carefully, almost as if pondering if I was teasing him or not, before answering. "Whitlock."

I started laughing again before Dave shut me up saying it wasn't advisable to have my stomach bouncing up and down with laughter. I looked at Jasper. "Your parents really have a thing for puritan names, don't they? Rosalie Lillian Hale and Jasper Whitlock Hale. Nice."

"Why, thank you so much. I like your names too. Emmett McCarty Cullen, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and Mary Alice Brandon Cullen. And, of course, the soon-to-be newest addition, Isabella Marie Cullen."

My eyes widened when he pronounced all our names perfectly, and almost popped out when he said the last part. "What?" I screeched. "How did you know? Why wasn't I informed? Unfair! The baby of the family should know everything!" At this point Jasper was laughing his ass off. I pointed at him. "You, mister, should not be laughing. You have _no _idea what it's like to be left out of the loop."

"Scary, Alice," Jasper teased, but calmed down all the same. "According to Rose, the information isn't official yet. Edward's just _planning _to propose. So, Alice, relax. They're not going to drive down to Vegas and get married in jeans and a shirt, though I can't say I find that very unappealing. Edward simply told Emmett, who told Rosalie, who told me. It's indirect information." He smiled brightly at me. "Plus, I had no idea Grandpa Cullen could love Grandma Cullen so much he gave her four rings."

I scowled at him. "You, Jasper Whitlock Hale, are too nosy for your own good. Granpops gave Grandma one engagement ring, one wedding ring, and two in-case rings because he was a paranoid perfectionist, the paranoid part I believe my family having inherited. You should see the tizzy everyone gets into after someone loses the keys. Immediately people start thinking someone broke into the house." I smiled suddenly at Jasper slyly. "You know, you seem to know a lot about the Cullen family, even for a potential brother-in-law..."

Jasper shrugged, unaffected. "We Hale men have a way of prying information."

I scoffed. "That's a nice way of saying you have no life other than to peek into your sister's relationship."

Jasper smiled calmly. "I never said I wasn't curious. Besides, I'm acquainted with Edward." I raised my eyebrows with an uncommittal sound. 'Acquainted' had many definitions. "I saw him at Starbucks' about two weeks ago. I only remembered him because of that crazy hair. When I described him to Rosie she said it was probably Edward if he had green eyes, because no other male in the whole world could have that mad shade of hair and green eyes at the same time."

I smirked. "Two weeks ago, you say? Interesting. He was on a self-imposed coffee ban a month before that," I said, musing silently. Oh, Edward, you are so busted. Cheating on our diet, are we? We'll see about that. I smiled winningly at Jasper. "Thanks for the information," I said, trying to sound sultry. It must have worked, because he flushed a light pink, nothing like Bella's bright red, but a faint dust of rose. I smiled to myself. Jasper was interesting.

Me and Emmett, dating twins? Wow. A mental image popped into my mind of Emmett and me, dark-haired and dark-eyed, walking with Rosalie and Jasper, blonde haired and blue eyed. Picture perfect.

_Whoa, Alice. You don't even know the guy!_

True enough. So I'll get to know him now.

"So, Alice, you have a job?" Jasper asked, cutting into my line of thoughts. I restrained a smile.

"Sure. I'm a doctor," I confessed, hoping he wouldn't ask trivial questions such as where I worked at and why. That was such a turn-off for me. Jasper, though, only smiled mysteriously.

"Interesting," he said. I raised my eyebrows questioningly as Dave carefully kept inking my stomach. I could see a dark form starting to take place, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Jasper's hypnotic eyes. "I'm a psychiatrist, or more of a therapist, I guess. I specialize in kinesics."

"Kinesics...the reading of body language," I realized. "Hmm. Jasper Hale, walking lie detector. I suppose I don't have any hope of lying and getting away with it?" I asked, teasing mildly, but genuinely interested in his occupation. Karma had a sense of humour. Only a while ago I had been fantasizing about taking up psychology.

Jasper smiled at me, but the glimmer of seriousness stayed in his eyes. "Something like that. For instance, right now you're feeling amused, confident and nervous. I'm assuming the nervous part has something to do with _that_," he said, gesturing towards the very obvious dark silhouette on my body. "The confidence, I assume, is something always there. You strike me as an independent girl. And the amusement...well, that I leave to you to decode for me."

I smiled at him. "You're very good at what you do, Jasper Hale. You didn't really have to psychoanalyze me like that, you know." His cheeks flushed a light pink again.

"I'm sorry. I should have asked for your permission. I don't usually demonstrate it."

"So I'm an exception?"

A slight pause. "Yes."

"Good," I replied, triumphant. This man might actually be The One. I loved his serenity-bizarre, considering I felt like I was either on a permanent sugar rush or the rest of the world was in slow motion. Sometimes I think my hyper personality had something to do with Esme drinking too much coffee despite Carlisle's warnings. It sure would explain the Cullen obsession with caffeine.

"What exactly do you do, anyway? I mean, I know you're a counsellor, but what field do you specialize in?"

Well, if Jasper Hale was The One, I should know what he worked as.

"Usually I help teenagers dealing with angst, controlling parents, demanding other halves, you know the deal. It's easiest for me since I already specialize in kinesics, and I can tell when they're lying and when they're telling the truth. Three quarters of the time they're lying. Is it me, or have teenagers become sneakier about lying?"

"It's the world," I answered. "Over demanding parents, lousy boyfriends, what's a teenager to do? I mean, all you have to do is type porn into Google and over three million posts would show up. Internet. A blessing and curse. You get the world at your fingertips, but at the same time you get creeps lurking around online and unbelievable internet bills." I shrugged. "Like they say, two sides of a coin."

Jasper laughed. "You're an amusing person, Cullen," he observed, his voice dropping down a notch. I almost shivered at the pure..._sexiness _of it. God, he was just so heavenly. My eyes flickered to Dave, and back to Jasper. I decided to take the teasing way out before I jumped him there and then. Dave would have an aneurysm.

"Or so I've been told, Hale," I answered cheekily. Jasper stared at me for a moment before breaking out into laughter. He started shaking his head. Well, I do get that reaction sometimes. I smiled flirtatiously at Jasper before getting distracted by the oscillating thing on my stomach. I had to bite down on my tongue to keep from screaming. It looked disgusting. It was a good thing Bella wasn't here, or she would have fainted at the sight of numerous needles plunging in and out so fast you couldn't even see it.

I resisted a shudder. I didn't want to see what would happen if I moved. Jasper must have seen something on my face, though, because he grinned a familiar smile at me. "A tattoo virgin, huh?"

I smiled absently, trying to place that smile. Then it came to me-it was Rosalie's smile. The one that got every guy within a five-mile radius salivating at her feet. I smiled back at Jasper, weirdly amused by the similarity between the two gorgeous blondes. "I guess that's one way of putting it."

Jasper opened his mouth to say something, but just then Dave stopped the vibrating machine and swiped away sweat on his forehead. I grimaced at the pure unhygienic act. When will people realize hygiene is more than social responsibility?

"There we go, Miss Cullen. All done," Dave said, smiling at me before reaching around somewhere to snag a bandage. "Do you want to look at it first?"

I grimaced, not really sure what my answer was. I looked at Jasper for help. He smiled reassuringly at me. "It looks fine," he assured. I smiled, a little comforted by that. I chanced a peek down.

_Wow._

"It's...it's fantastic," I breathed, staring at the intricate details of the tattoo wrapped around my navel. Dave smiled at me before holding the bandage over me, looking at me questioningly. I nodded and he carefully bandaged the newly completed tattoo.

"Remove it after three hours," he instructed. "Don't immerse it in hot water for 24 hours, and please, for the love of God, do _not _go swimming for at least two weeks. Apply this" he handed me a small tub with the word TATTOO GOO printed across the top "every day for the next few weeks until the scab falls off. Please, don't pick at the scab until it's ready to fall off and..."

I drowned out his voice after the 'don't pick at the scab'. I could get whatever information about tattooing precautions from Rosalie. That girl was inked all over, ranging from a butterfly at her hip to a daisy chain around her ankle. Instead I stared at Jasper's gorgeous baby blue eyes. I almost expected gray flecks to come floating in them to act as clouds.

I only snapped out of the stupor when suddenly Dave patted my hand and said the magic words: "That's all for now."

For now? Did that mean there was more later?

I got up, gingerly pulling down the slightly baggy clothes over the bandage. It was feeling a little tender and a lot sore, but it would be fine. I smiled at Dave, exchanged a few polite words and got up to leave reluctantly. I had already paid for the tat in the previous appointment. I nodded to Dave and looked at Jasper dubiously. He got up from the chair and walked to the door, holding it open with one hand while clutching the documents with another.

"So..." I said, my voice trailing off once we were on the cold sidewalk. It had turned twilight, the sky rapidly darkening. I could almost _see _the sky change colours.

"So..." Jasper echoed. We stood there for a moment awkwardly, the wind whipping at our faces. It looked like a ridiculous scene from a movie, especially since we were on the sidewalk next to a street. To top it off, there was even a sapling next to us. "Doyouwannagooutfordinner?" he blurted out. I stared at him for a moment. He inhaled before trying again. "Do you want to go out for dinner?" he repeated, more coherently this time.

I paused, at a loss for words. _Yes! Yes! YES! _

But lucky for me, my mouth didn't work.

Jasper blushed, looking down. He bit his lip and scuffed the toe of his sneaker against the ground, looking amusingly sheepish. "I'm sorry. I was being presumptuous. If you don't want to go out for dinner that's fine with me. I was just asking, you know, so that if you did there would be an invitation and-"

I rolled my eyes. "Jasper. Stop blabbering. Dinner sounds great. There's this al fresco Italian place that I wanted to try, but Rosalie hates pasta, so I can't ever go there except for with Bella, and she's been busy. How about it?"

Jasper smiled. "Italian sounds lovely."

**Six months later**

"Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch!"

"Alice, for fuck's sake, shut. Up!"

"It hurts!"

"It's a friggin' dress! You were the one that got it stuck to your body with ice cream!"

Jasper chuckled in the corner, relaxing with him arms folded behind his head. I turned slightly to glare at him. "You, mister, should not be laughing. You're the reason I was eating ice cream to begin with!"

He raised his arms defensively. "Hey, now, I never asked you to slop it all over your neck. How was I supposed to know poking your side would accomplish that?"

I simply glowered at him.

The red fabric ripped off my chest. I let out a loud howl. Rosalie huffed at me. "What is with you and sounding like a bloody dog? I'll leave you two to dress yourselves." She turned to leave and glared at Jasper. "You. If you ever get her clothes stuck to her, again, you will be the one getting things ripped off you, and I'm not talking about clothes either. Got that?"

"Yes ma'am," Jasper said meekly. Rose stormed out the room as I struggled with the zipper, finally getting the dress off. Jasper came over, wrapping his arms around my waist as we stared at each other in the mirror. His fingers touched the gypsy tattoo, running his fingers around the woman's wild hair and the crystal ball that was my navel. I had requested this custom tattoo especially after I got the idea and fell for it.

"Happy sixth month anniversary," I whispered.

"Happy sixth month anniversary to you too, my gypsy fortuneteller," Jasper whispered, laughing softly into my neck.

* * *

**AN: **How was it? Read & review!


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